On the first day of what will be a depressingly slow sports period until we’re rescued by March Madness, Tiger Woods is back in the news.

Today’s boink allegations? Porn star Joslyn James claims the golfing swordsman knocked her up twice, adding the extra stank that in both instances his wife Elin was also pregnant.

I’m not sure about you, but anyone with “Mama Fucked a Black Man” and “Shorty Iz Fuckin’ Yo Mama 2″ on their resume has to be forking over nothing but facts.

James, 32, said she miscarried in her first pregnancy at about the same time Tiger’s wife, Elin Nordegren, gave birth to daughter Sam Alexis on June 18, 2007. James said she aborted her next pregnancy close to the Feb. 8, 2009, birth of Woods’ son, Charlie Axel. Despite her more-than-passing role in Woods’ marital debacle, James said she regrets what the scandal has done to Nordegren. “I feel bad for [Elin],” she said. “She didn’t deserve this, and she didn’t deserve being humiliated.”

Considering James has already sat down with “Inside Edition” for a “bombshell” interview that will air tonight, it’s very easy to applaud and appreciate her compassion for Elin.

Tiger, if you’re out there, please, please sit down with Oprah or whoever — hell, even Kramer and his old Merv Griffin set would do at this point — and get this shit over with. It’s time.

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